Finnerty Steeves – Actress and Award-Winning Screenwriter
So excited for today’s awesome guest, Finnerty Steeves! Finnerty is an actress who has played many iconic roles on stage and on screen including Ms Calvin in “The Shape She Makes” and Beth Hoefler in “Orange is the New Black.” In this episode, she talks about her adventure in the world of TV and theatre and how her stubbornness prepared her for the opportunities that came her way. She heard a lot of “Nos” before she heard, “Yes.” Sound familiar? She also shares about her latest movie, “Before/During/After,” for which she wrote the script, basing it on the story of her own divorce. Check out #TheKaraGoldinShow for this exciting and inspiring conversation!
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Kara Goldin 0:00
Hi everyone, it’s the Kara golden show and I’m so excited for my next guest and kind of an usual guest for us to have. But I was so excited when when Finnerty Her name is Finnerty Steve’s very, very excited when she was introduced to me by a mutual friend, and basically is this awesome, awesome actress who I’ve admired for over the years. And we’ll talk about sort of her next step that she recently took. It has a brand new movie that is so so good that really took the next step from being an actress to Well, I’ll let Finnerty talk a little bit more about that, but welcome Finnerty. And actually, let me back up a little bit where I had first seen you your first role, or at least the first role that I had seen you was as Denise in the sopranos and absolutely loved you. And that and then of course, there was oranges, the new black which was one of my favorites, and I don’t know if anyone has ever said this to you, by the way, but the Orange is the New Black. I used to watch the show when I was little with my older sister called cellblock, h that was out of Australia. Have you ever heard about this?
Finnerty Steeves 1:26
Yes, yeah, I watched Oh, no, no, not that I was thinking of Wentworth also I’ve watched I haven’t seen so back. Ah,
Kara Goldin 1:32
it was I mean, it was this is totally aging myself. This is the 1970s. And it was the scariest, but it was about a female prison. And I have to believe that there was something there about when people were looking at cell blocage. There was very different but a lot of similarities. But I was one of my favorite shows to sort of sneak late at night. But anyway, hurt that I’ve always wondered about that. So, okay, I’m going to stop talking. And we’re going to just dig right in, but welcome, Finnerty. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. So one thing that I like to talk about on the show is just inspiring individuals about different types of careers and just different industries and how maybe they’re similar to the industry that the listeners and maybe they’re a little bit different. But talk to me a little bit about kind of how did you get started? Well, I you know, I was really shy kid. And I’m still pretty shy, actually. But um, my mom talked me into taking a speech and drama class in junior high just to sort of get over any kind of like, standing in front of a classroom or anything, I was just so nervous and,
Finnerty Steeves 2:57
So I took classes and it all the way through high school and did school plays and stuff. And I remember my high school guidance counselor saying, you know, well, what do you want to do? And I said, Well, I want to be an actress. And she said, Well, you can’t I mean, what’s what’s your backup plan that, you know, you can’t just do that. And without even really, I was not even talented? I think I’d been a to school plays or whatever. But I was like, I will never make it if I have a backup plan. And I did and so and he was like, okay, so I just knew that about myself that I just thought if I don’t want any distractions, I’m just going to put my head down and go. So I you know, I studied acting in college and went to theater training school. I went to American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco for what to get my masters and I’ve just been plugging along forever as an actor. I love it. I love being an actor. I you know, I’ve had a lot of rejection, but I just have never I’ve had the just the right amount of yeses, you know, to continue going.
And, yeah, when I finished graduate school, I was for sure. Going to move to Southern California. I lived I lived on a sailboat actually, in graduate school in San Francisco, because we were there during the peak of the.com. It was just crazy expensive. So um, so I lived on a 32 foot sailboat, which was a great adventure. I was in school six days a week and you know, so I didn’t care really where I laid my head and it was it was a it was an exciting time. Were these in San Francisco sorry, are in Sausalito are actually in Alameda, which is a little island sort of like between our island. Yeah, my ex and I bought a boat and lived on the south. But it was it was really fun. And then so I was the only one of my classmates that was definitely going to go to LA after after school. And then I the age I had sort of we did our little showcase and the agents in New York were more interested. And I just I fell in love with New York City and I was like, I felt like I was supposed to be here and and I just love it. I just I just love New York City. It’s such a crazy amazing place but it just felt like the right home for me and it
felt like, when I was younger anyway, it felt like there was a distinction between sort of like, the really attractive classmates went to LA. And the more character actors went to New York, and that’s just a generalization. But that’s sort of how it felt when we were younger that we needed to kind of do that. But it doesn’t feel that way to me now anyway, but I feel like I’ve been able to be an actor here, you know, with theater and with Off Broadway. And then when I was I did a lot of regional theater. So I would pick up and move to Minneapolis or, you know, a different town for three months to do a play or Arizona or, you know, it was a great time, I don’t do it. I don’t travel as much anymore because I have a baby avid seven year old. So it’s hard to do to pick up your life for four months when when you have a baby. Interesting.
Kara Goldin 5:44
Yeah. Do you most actors that you ran into have masters? Or do they? I mean, what what’s sort of the kind of the training that most actors and actresses have,
Finnerty Steeves 5:55
it’s definitely not necessary. It’s not necessary really kind of depends. For theater, though, I found I moved right after undergrad I did a really great undergrad program at Cal State Fullerton. I was here for just a short amount of time. And it was just there were just so many fish in the sea that I felt like without that degree, it wasn’t really about so much the training, even though it was it was more about how it could open some doors for you. And you have to weigh that right because the most master programs are just so expensive that you have to sort of figure out like, you know, does this make sense? And I kind of felt like for me, my ingenue clock was running out and I did that really well. I was able to be in a working actor before graduate school, I sort of took a big break between the two and I lived in, in South Florida. And I was doing a lot of theater in that area. And you know, making a living just being an act. Well,
I shouldn’t say that. I did wait tables to that. I did. What am I saying I did wait tables. But I was
able to be a working actor down there, which was wonderful. But I did feel like the ingenue clock was running. And I was like, I don’t know that I had I’ve always felt like I would I’m a lucky person or that. You know, I’m sort of a scared person in general. But I also I think the flip side of that scared coin, for me is like a scared person sometimes feels like bad things can happen. But also scared people can I think sometimes feel like really great things could happen too. And I always felt like I would run up against some cool opportunities. And I just wanted to make sure that I was prepared so that I could really step into it if I did get lucky. So I just never gave up. Like I said, I think I’m more determined than talented. I’m super stubborn. And I’ve just been like, I think if I can just stick my course of being like, I am an actor, here’s who I am. And I know this about me, and I’m ready to go and trained and ready to go that like eventually the business will find me and hit me if I if I if I keep running around going like Who am I and what do I stand for? And I’m too old, maybe I should be that, that like there’s a possibility, we’ll never meet up. But I was like, I’ll just be me and be ready. And then maybe an opportunity will hit me you know. So
Kara Goldin 7:59
I love that. That’s so great. One thing that I talk about a lot. And you know becoming an entrepreneur is that every entrepreneur I’ve ever met has fears. And it sounds like every actor has fears as well. But the more fears you break through and you look back on maybe it was that part that you didn’t think you were gonna get it. Maybe you weren’t even supposed to show up one day for a certain part and then you ended up getting it and then it ended up working out a lot better. So there’s always this fear that goes along with it. And maybe people that you think are better than you that show up in the room. Right? I’m sure you heard a lot about or having more experience and but you just never really know until you try. And so I that’s what I loved about your story. And I’m glad you hit on this because it really there’s so many similarities no matter what industry you’re in, how it really intersects in so many ways. We’re how people feel there’s this little thing inside your head that is saying be scared. But the more of those you kind of move through, the easier it gets and the more resilience you have.
Finnerty Steeves 9:09
Kara Goldin 9:11
So you get to New York City, you’re doing theater at this point. And I guess the sopranos was was that the first big one that you kind of that people would recall or what were you?
Unknown Speaker 9:25
Finnerty Steeves 9:26
would you say that first jobs out of graduate school.
And it was I was such a fan of the show that I’m you know, getting that part it was just you know, it’s a pretty small, it was a small little part, you know, I was just, you know, a
Kara Goldin 9:38
song are terrific. You know, I thank you, but
Finnerty Steeves 9:40
it was, you know, it was, I think for me, it felt like you know it, I’ve just realized I don’t know that I totally answered your question earlier about graduate school because what, just circling back to that briefly, it just made me think of that, that I felt like without that training and being presented to agents in a way. It’s not it’s it’s They’re safe way to of knowing like I can send this person in. And they are, they just know that you have the reputation of the school behind you. And that you, you know that you have that. So it’s not, you know, it’s just a little bit easier. So it definitely doesn’t buy you an agent at all. But it does. Put a little bit of an asterisk next fuge to just sort of skip, skip the line a little bit, if that makes sense. So I was able to get a really great agent out of school, and that helped. And so and this was one of my first roles. And I was invited to the table read and that was one of the most exciting days of my life. I was sort of like I could be done now because I we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves with the entire cast. And I still get like that was years and years ago and I still get nervous just thinking about it cuz I was just at I was like, This is surreal. And you know, they’re there. They all were. And it was an incredible,
Kara Goldin 10:53
incredible experience. And they were inviting you in who was the person that you remember both?
Unknown Speaker 10:59
Finnerty Steeves 11:00
you know, seeing Gandolfini and Ed Falco, sitting at the other end of the table, read their scene together. It was like it was it was incredible. And I’m blanking on his name. He’s so amazing. And I’m blanking on his name. But he was so cute because I felt like he knew he was looking at me like, ah, like, pretty great, right? Like, it’s like everyone else was like they’ve been doing it. You know, it’s like season five. I think so. But he was so cute, right? It’s Tony sister’s husband. I’m blanking on his real name. Anyway, he was just so adorable. And he just kept looking at me like, I know, I know. This is pretty cool. And so I do remember that energy. He was lovely. And just, you know, like I said, seeing James Gandolfini and Ed, like, read their scene across the table was just like, incredible.
Kara Goldin 11:49
Isn’t the sopranos coming back? Wasn’t there some talk about that? I hear the song. I
Finnerty Steeves 11:54
think it’s like a prequel or something. Right. I don’t know any of the details. But I think they’re doing Yeah. Tony has not won. And I think Yeah,
Kara Goldin 12:01
yeah, it would be very, very cool to see that. So. So then, Orange is the New Black at talk to me about that. How did that come about? That was
Finnerty Steeves 12:12
I am again, similar to I was such a huge fan of the show. And I had actually auditioned a few times. And one of the things you sort of learned as an actor is like your type, right. And so I would sometimes get bored of my type, it helped me make, you know, I made my living basically doing commercials, because I look like sort of, you know, the nice, real looking mom, like, you know, like, if I look like the mom that sort of like getting stains out of a boy’s clothes or something. So I just made a living sort of doing that. And I would get, you know, for those a year. And that would pay for my theater habit. And I could do Off Broadway and you know, that does not pay very well. But like I could do that. And then you have these great TV, and films, things that come along. But usually, I would be sort of like the day player, or I’d come in for a couple of days and be the you know, Ernest labtech, that’s, you know, pulls the guy over and tells them the truth and, you know, so but it you know, in the theater, I would have much more opportunities to play really great roles. But a lot of times for TV and film, it’s sort of like you’re the day player, you’re believable, you do your thing, you get the ball over the plate for for the fancy people to hit the ball, you know. So I went in for a couple of really great smaller roles for orange had a scheduling issue with one of them, thank god and couldn’t do it. And then, you know, a year and a half later, they called me in for this part for Beth hoffler. And I have never wanted a part more in my life. I was like this is this is incredible. And I didn’t they purposely there were three scenes in that first episode. And they purposely did not give me the scene or they cut it early, where we find out what her crime was. And but I just had this feeling I was like, I think she is very complicated. And I think she I have a feeling her crime was really bad. And that she seems sort of one thing and is actually a lot, a lot of layers. And so at the audition, I remember they specifically said you know, no hair, you know, no makeup. No, don’t do your hair. And I remember going my husband isn’t in the business. But I turned to my husband, I was heading out that day. I was like, I am so excited as this is what dudes must feel like when they go to an audition because it really is about the part and it’s about acting. And it’s not about whether Did I make the right decision to put my hair on this side? Or you know, it just seems like it’s a lot of times for women in the business. It does feel like it comes down to that so often and with this show, and I felt like it didn’t and I there I was in my white t shirt and my you know, blue pants. And I was like I think I’m gonna walk there and even be a little sweaty, you know. So I walked to the audition and I was so excited to go in the room and it went really really well. And afterwards, they told me what the with the crime was. Jen Newson who’s an incredible casting director. She was like She’s like, do you want to know where the crime is? And I said, Yeah, she told me and I was like, Oh, God, oh my God. And I just prayed for them. Because I was like, please, I don’t even think I need a rural app. And it was just such an incredible experience. I thought, I don’t know that I need to, to act anymore. It was that because I feel like in the, in our business, you either have a great role, great people, you know, or a great film or tea. You know, like, the thing itself is fancy, you know. And for this, it was like, a great role with amazing people. And, you know, one of the best shows, it was just dream, it was incredible. It was
Kara Goldin 15:32
an incredible experience. It was so great. And was it all filmed in New York?
Finnerty Steeves 15:36
Yeah, a lot of my stuff, you know, because I was in maximum security. And that was all Most of it was filmed in Queens. And then, yeah, there’s a, there’s two different locations, like we had my character, you know, because people didn’t really like her. I was only I was not in as many like, it had to be sort of group scenes. And so some of the like group therapy scenes and all that we’re in an at a women’s prison in, in Forest Hills, like a like a not a full prison, but like a detention center kind of thing.
Kara Goldin 16:07
Interesting. Did you did you have to do a lot of or did you get to do a lot of research and actually go into women’s prisons?
Finnerty Steeves 16:15
That I wonder if the girls did originally, like the original cast, I wonder if they did. What was sort of exciting though, is because it was maximum security, you know, stepping into that with these women who’ve been doing the show for you know, for five years, it was kind of fun, because a lot of them didn’t know the new set. So even they were kind of like, Wait, where are we? Where’s that? You know, and it was, so it’s kind of fun, because I we were eating but I knew that I had been there for 16 years. So my character had to sort of know know what, pretty well, but I did do a lot of research more about postpartum psychosis and stuff like that. That was sort of more like, what, what I was really fascinated with. And I yeah, that’s, I’m sure, like, God forbid if anybody ever found my computer stuff that you sort of Google as an actor, sometimes I’m like, Oh, God, I hope I so no one ever looks through my Google search or whatever. Exactly. You look up the strangest things as an actor that I’m like, you know, no, but yeah, it was it was a it’s a heartbreaking crime. And I just, you know, I learned a lot about it. As a mom, I knew about postpartum depression and stuff, but I never really knew that much about postpartum psychosis. And it’s, it should be talked about so much more. It’s such a, it’s not even it never actually, we never actually learned that that is that, that Beth had this, but I just sort of made that decision that that was, you know, you kind of you’re given the pieces, you know, the actors are only are given the pieces to the puzzle a lot of times just a little bit before the audience, you know. So, a lot of times you don’t know what your Ark is. And they do that on purpose, so that it’s super exciting to everybody. And that is not predictable. So there were a few times that I was like, wait, what
Kara Goldin 17:49
did I do? Oh, okay, that’s
That’s nice, fun to play.
I can’t imagine that these parts don’t change you. I mean, you talk about the Google searches, but do I mean, they’re pretty? There’s a lot right between the sopranos between? I mean, I bet they they really do, you know, change you in many ways is it is it hard to disconnect, especially to go home at night and and start to live a normal life? And and I bet that would be really tough?
Finnerty Steeves 18:22
It does. It definitely does change you. I will say, for me doing a play. I think it’s a little harder because you, you have to really well, I guess it’s the same really, I don’t know. But like, when you’re doing a play, you’re really in it for those months. And it’s like, but it is pretty easy. Especially if you you know, you get to where you can, you know that you separate you’re not that you know, but it definitely does affect you if you’re doing a really silly rhombi, 60s comedy and you’re being silly with you know, you’re getting paid to do this fun play up in the Berkshires with your friends. I mean, it’s like it’s super fun. Right. But if you’re doing a play that is Yeah, you know, really heavy it definitely does weigh on you. You’re sort of you know, but But yeah, it’s you do learn how to how to sort of separate it once you get home and and let it go. You have to?
Kara Goldin 19:12
Yeah, no, absolutely. So interesting. And then in 2015, you received the Elliot Norton award, congratulations for your performance as Miss Calvin in the shape she makes which was also an incredible performance. Why do you think that that was kind of highlighted, as you know, get award winning? I mean, what what do you think it was about that, in
Finnerty Steeves 19:34
particular, that was a play. That was what it was one of the best productions I’d ever been a part of. It was so special. Jonathan Bernstein and Susan Meisner, it was their, their baby that they created. And there’s there’s two of the most incredible artists that I know and they just they created this piece. And I think if I just read the play itself, it’s there’s a lot of movement in it. And you Usually I don’t really like things that are sort of who we who we, like pretentious. And so I think if I just sort of seen it on page on the page, I would have been like, Oh, I don’t know, if this is really me, he was the one of the most moving pieces I’d ever been a part of it was about a woman. And they actually had to build a suit for me, because she was somebody who abused, you know, food. And, you know, normally they were planning on using, you know, a larger actress, but they had all of these things that they had in their mind that they wanted to do with her physically by living, you know, so much movement, that, that they ended up having to hire, you know, as a sort of lighter body in a suit to be able to do a lot of the things that they wanted to do physically. It was just, it was, it was such an incredible play that literally at the end, it was a really intimate space, there’s audience on three sides, we did it at a party in Boston, in Cambridge, actually. And I had to hold for sobs at the end, because it was people were that visibly
Unknown Speaker 21:01
Finnerty Steeves 21:03
and it took place he jumps around in time, it’s a nonlinear piece. And, you know, we, the audience comes in, and we have to put these name tags on that we’re seeing this, you know, so there’s some sort of speech that’s happening, and you’re not really sure what’s happening. And my character who is like over 300 pounds, walks in late, the play starts and I purposely walk in late. And because of this, the shape of it, because of the piece, the woman giving the speech at the beginning sort of hold this is Oh, I’m sorry, you know, come on in. So you feel all of these eyeballs on me coming in. And then once the play starts, my character gets up from the play. And you see people go, like, wait, what she’s in this play, and the stories about her. Like, we just had our own opinion about her coming in late. And now we are going to have a whole hour and a half with this woman and she is telling the story. And it was just really, really powerful. And they just did such an incredible job I sort of got credit for for it, you know by because I played this role, but it was just a beautiful play. And there was a lot of talk of us doing it again. And but we did it just never sort of got the wind that it needed. But But yeah, the I think the play itself one word to two, but it was such an honor was such a beautiful, beautiful play.
Kara Goldin 22:17
That’s so terrific. So years of being an actress, you decide to take the leap, scare yourself a little bit and go off and write your own movie. How did that come about?
Finnerty Steeves 22:32
Oh, gosh, well, I’ve
always wanted to write and I’ve been obsessed with writing. I always when I go for a little jog or whatever, my brain is full of all these ideas, but I didn’t really, I was afraid to do it. I didn’t know, I just had such respect for writers. And I’m just kind of a, I don’t know, I just felt like I was afraid to be judged in that way. It felt even more intimate than acting to me. And I felt like I didn’t know the rules. And I didn’t. So and I did wasn’t totally sure that I had a story to tell. And then my seemingly perfect 15 year marriage fell apart. And I was like,
Kara Goldin 23:08
Oh, this way this might be worth exploring. And so the movie by the way is called before during and after and it is so good on so many levels. It’s on is it on Netflix or it’s
Finnerty Steeves 23:21
on it’s on every platform that you normally rent or buy movie so it’s in the it’s in the currently it’s in they call it like a T VOD window, meaning like transactional video on demand. So it’s sort of like on on every everything, you know, like iTunes, Amazon. Oh, good. Yeah, Fandango. All those? Yeah. They’re going to be announced soon. Some sort of s VOD release, you know, some sort of subscription later, but I don’t know what that is yet. But yeah, it’s so nice. So exciting to have it out, out in the world for people to see.
Kara Goldin 23:48
So it came really from your own story. And did you? So how long did it take you to write this?
Unknown Speaker 23:55
Finnerty Steeves 23:57
It took a couple of years to write it. And I didn’t, I was pregnant with my daughter. And I suddenly felt like, Oh, I need to do this now. Like, I need to get this I need to get this done. And actually think it was the first year that that Meryl Streep was doing that, you know, the first screenwriters over 40 and I just turned 40. And I was like, I this whatever their deadline was, it gave me a specific deadline. So I was like, if nothing else, I like it. Because at first I thought I would never really share it with anybody, but it was like to have that deadline. So I could say I had a completed screenplay. So I finished it. And then I started sharing it with people and they were like, you have to make this maybe you should sell it. So I was thinking about selling it and I was like, why am I selling it? I’m an actor. That’s what I do. Why would I try to do this myself? And then sort of naively said, I’m gonna make this without knowing what that meant at all. Thank God I did not know what that meant. Because I would never the most it’s the most intense thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I set out to do it. I was like kids do this. Kids make movies like people’s They’re going to do things and, and they do it. So that’s what my that’s what I’ve been doing the last five, six years now it’s just been making this happen,
Kara Goldin 25:09
and the process of actually writing your own movie. So what were kind of the steps? I mean, it sounds daunting, right? I’m going to go make a movie, but did you? How did you tackle it?
Finnerty Steeves 25:20
I signed up for a class was sort of like an extended ed class, you know, someone had recommended this, this teacher to me and I took his class, I kind of cried a lot, because I didn’t know what I was doing. And I was like, This is a story about
a woman who wants to have a baby, you know, it’s kind of like, oh, it sounds a little like therapy at first, because I wasn’t sure like,
what this story was about. But um, I started writing these scenes, as someone who had just sort of been on the other side of divorce, I was like, I want to see if I can create a piece that feels like divorce, where it’s sort of, you know, so I was turning in all these, all these scenes, and the teacher kind of took a liking he was really wonderful and invited me to be a part of his writers group. And, and at first, I was sort of like, Oh, you know, I’m not really a writer and whatever. And so find that he was like Finnerty, you have to stop saying that. And he said, it’s actually sort of insulting because you’re very talented. And that like, sort of being humble in that way of like, putting yourself down isn’t getting you anywhere. And so I was like, Oh, alright. And I needed to kind of hear that, because I was like, What am I doing? I was, and to this day, I’m not exactly sure what I was doing. I think I was protecting, protecting myself in some way to sort of say I was just babbling, but he was the one who said, You have as riveted, you’re telling us this story out of order, you’re turning in these pieces. And I think this is your film, because we are like, Wait, what? Wait, did you lose the baby that Wait, did that was that before that? Or you know, did he really love her and oh my god, this scene is heartbreaking. So he’s like that. It I was like, that’s, that’s what I this. That’s what this feels like to me. But I also was afraid because I thought, well, I don’t really know the rules. And who am I to break rules that I don’t understand yet. And he was like, stop it. You’re an actor, you know how to tell a story, forget the rules. They’re there if you’re stuck, like if you need help, but tell your story. And so I had to just, you know, figure out how to do that without being you know, a being afraid of being called a fraud or like a, you know, a hack or something, I don’t know, I had to just sort of put that away and say like, this is my version of it. You know, this is, this is what divorce felt like, for me. I really wanted it to be a hopeful movie. But I also wanted it to be very truthful. And I wanted it to be about I wanted it to feel intimate like that we were sort of going with it together, we are going through it together, but also that she’s going to be okay. In the end, I wanted it to feel like the divorce is really awful. And for everybody, whether you’re the person who wants it, or doesn’t want it, but that that they’re going to be okay, like that was sort of the feeling I wanted. And
Kara Goldin 27:53
he had so that’s no, I love it. And you touched on this. I mean, maybe in some ways, while it was scary, it was also kind of therapeutic. Right? So going through your own situation and and knowing that you were going to get through this and I’m sure sharing that story with others watching this. I mean, it’s it’s a it’s definitely at parts heavy, for sure. But it’s but it definitely is one that is I think I can see a lot of people saying, Wow, that story just really, really helped me and also knowing that you had been through this, and this was your story, I think is is so incredible. And so I believe that more more than anything. So many similarities between how you’re talking about becoming an actor and how moving into a totally different type of profession, in your industry and to writing and, and learning so much along the way. There’s so many similarities. And like I said to you earlier on, I’m not sure that you’ve ever called yourself an entrepreneur, but your journey for sure. is there’s so many similarities along the way. What would What advice would you give to listeners who are, you know, really feeling like, oh, I’ve want to be an actor or I’ve tried to be an actor and it’s just not working or I’ve submitted screenplays and nobody wants them. I mean, what is kind of the the biggest message that you want people to take away?
Finnerty Steeves 29:33
I would say just to still follow if you can follow where the joy is in it. Like I will say I lost some of the joy a little bit in like years ago where I was so determined that at one point I went, wait a minute, am I you know, I had a small part on a really great TV show. It was actually a great little roll and I won’t say what it is, but I remember being I remember thinking like yeah, like I was getting ready to enter and I was like What is this feeling? And like is this joy? Because like, yeah, I’m on the blah, blah, blah show, right? And I was like, is this joy? And I’m like, No, this feels more like, yeah, I get to say, I did this show, and it’s on my resume. And so I was like, Huh, let’s visit that later. Because, you know, I think that’s okay to do those things. But like, I had to kind of stop for a second, make sure that I wasn’t just because of my generation, sort of like, I won’t take no for an answer. This is what I’m going to do and then not have other joy come in. So it was scary, because I felt like I took a few steps back and admitting admitting that. But I’ve since been able to then turn down some things that I was like, no, that’s not really, that won’t be joyful, for me. But I’d say that there is room for you like if it really is something you love, there is room, you can insist that there be room for you. Even if you think like why don’t really see anything like me, that’s even better. Because I you know, I and figure out the ways that you can pep talk yourself to because I would change the fact sometimes just what I don’t have their facts, but like, instead of going wow, like, instead of saying they cut me off after my first scene, and I had two more scenes to audition with, and they were done with me and rolled their eyes, right? Like, you could stick with that and make that make you feel crazy for the next couple of weeks. Or you could be like, yeah, I’m one of 32 women in the whole world that had a shot at that, right. So like, and I would just try to tell myself that that was the most important thing. And then once I got a little more often I would figure out like, Okay, what, when I first leave an audition, there’s that feeling of like, that went great. And then it’s not till I get home, and I’m like, oh, but then he said that, and I probably should have been I should have have a and like I might whatever that first feeling is of like, yeah, I set out what I what I wanted to do. I did. Sometimes I’ll say what are two things that I did well, and one thing I could do better next time because that’s like, I was super prepared. I bla bla bla and but next time I should probably love about and Mike See if you can just keep doing that. So you can stay in the game learning from your challenges. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. As a producer, I will say I feel like I have more opinions like as an actor, just because I’ve been doing that so much longer. As a producer, this was my first time doing it. So I feel like I have opinions about things, but I’m not sure. Now what was luck? What was me? What could I have done better or differently? I have a feeling once I do, you know, two or three under my belt, then you go, oh, wow, I’m good at that. Because a concert, you know, or like, Oof, I’ve heard that before, that’s probably something I should consider. I do feel like that life is short. And the fact that I am kind of a scared person, I think I was more afraid of not having done it knowing that I really wanted to do it. So I would just say collect the nose also, like, I never asked anybody for any help in my life. And I had to ask for a lot of help. And I realized that, that the asking is actually flattering, or that’s what I’m telling myself that you can just say like, Hey, this is what I’m doing. And I had to to ask for help. And just say, this is what I’m doing. And people can say no. And I think my as a producer, I needed money to make the film and I’m like, I’ve never asked for anybody in my life. And so I had a friend say collect the nose, you have to get at least 30 nose for every Yes. So when you get to know just know you’re closer, and I’m like, Okay, and so one of my first ask, they said yes. And I was like, oh crap. Now I’m making this because somebody wrote me a check, you know, and then it just then it was actually happening. But I realized too that if people ask me like, hey, Finn, can you if I can’t do it? I don’t think like Who do they think they are asking me to? But you know, you’re just like, I’m so sorry. I can’t I’m too busy or the asking. Isn’t? You know, I also I have to admit, though, I did have to take out a lot of the the language of like, Hey, I’m doing this no biggie.
Kara Goldin 34:00
You totally don’t have to, like there was a lot of that backing out stuff trying to get up apologizing, right? And I can only I can imagine so because again, it’s your little you fear it. And you’ve never done it before, but figuring out how to you actually go out and ask and just do it anyway, as my dad used to say to me, what’s the worst that can happen if you lead with that? I mean, you get to know and that’s it. And you just keep moving and more than anything and enjoying your life and trying and so I love your story so much. And I know listeners are gonna love it as well. Where can people find you if they want to follow Finnerty and I’m sure there’s a few others things up your sleeve for sure.
Finnerty Steeves 34:46
I’m on Instagram. I’m at affinities photos, and Twitter at twitter affinity sfis. Our website for the film has sort of all of this stuff on the film if you’re interested in seeing that it sort of says where it is and we’re going to be You know, we’re going to our final festival next month, which is wonderful in there. So that’s a before during after the film.com.
Kara Goldin 35:08
So great. So if you love this episode, please give it five stars. And definitely review us on Apple podcasts or Spotify. And thank you so much everybody for coming and listening and thank you Finnerty for giving us your time to talk a little bit more about this industry and, and this career that you have this blossoming career continuing to do new and great things. I love it so much. So we’re here every Monday and Wednesday and please come and say hello to us on my social medias. Kara golden all over Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, all of them. So thanks, everybody. Talk to you soon. Have a great week. before we sign off, I want to talk to you about fear. People like to talk about fearless leaders. But achieving big goals isn’t about fearlessness. successful leaders recognize their fears and decide to deal with them head on in order to move forward. This is where buy new book undaunted comes in. This book is designed for anyone who wants to succeed in the face of fear, overcome doubts and live a little undaunted. Order your copy today at undaunted, the book calm and learn how to look your doubts and doubters in the eye and achieve your dreams. For a limited time. You’ll also receive a free case of hint water. Do you have a question for me or want to nominate an innovator to spotlight send me a tweet at Kara golden and let me know. And if you liked what you heard, please leave me a review on Apple podcasts. You can also follow along with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn at Kara golden thanks for listening
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