Jennifer Gilbert: Founder & CVO of Save the Date

Kara Goldin 0:00
I am unwilling to give up that I will start over from scratch as many times as it takes to get where I want to be I want to be, you just want to make sure you will get knocked down. But just make sure you don’t get knocked down knocked out. So your only choice should be go focus on what you can control control control. Hi, everyone and welcome to the Kara Goldin show. Join me each week for inspiring conversations with some of the world’s greatest leaders. We’ll talk with founders, entrepreneurs, CEOs, and really some of the most interesting people of our time. Can’t wait to get started. Let’s go. Let’s go. Hi, everyone. And welcome back to the Kara Goldin show today, I’m absolutely thrilled to have an extraordinary guest with us here today who is also happens to be a wonderful friend of mine. So you’ll probably notice that in our conversation together, because I’ve known John for a while. But Jennifer Gilbert is the founder and chief visionary officer of a company, an amazing, amazing company called Save the Date. She is also the author of this incredible memoir called I never promised you a goodie bag. And we will talk about both of those amazing things. But Jen is a leading name in the event planning space with over 30 years of unmatched experience, she has built her company Save the Date into into a national award winning event and hospitality company servicing elite clientele from Oprah to Google to the Bill Gates Foundation, YMCA. And with over 32 million in sales this year alone, crazy, crazy great. So she is really the go to expert on all things event wise from corporate gatherings to grand, grand weddings. But behind her success is a story that not everyone knows. And it is unbelievable what she has overcome. A brutal trauma that we will talk about that is just makes her an even more amazing human being for what she has been through and what she has conquered and what we can learn, really from that story. So I can’t wait for her to share her story with us and her insights and strategies overall for life and for business success. And so welcome, Jen. So excited to have you here.

Jennifer Gilbert 2:32
Thank you, Kara. Very, very,

Kara Goldin 2:35
very excited. So first of all, before we get into all the background, so your company is called Save the Date. Do you want to give us just a brief background on what is Save the Date? Yes.

Jennifer Gilbert 2:47
So Save the Date? The cocktail answer is an event planning company. But it’s not really what we do. I actually created a very first marketplace, between people wanting to have events and people having event spaces. So this is before there was like a Google poll. That’s how long ago was but basically, my company completely disrupted the marketplace. And instead of being a paid per party kind of model, which was out there like you want your wedding plans, you want your event planned, you pay the planner, the planner goes and plans it. I had started in the recession, and I worked for a company that wanted me to cultivate a corporate market. So I’m doing cold call after call call after cold call. And I have all these companies and nonprofits that say oh my god, we would love to hire you. But I just don’t have the money. You know, people were like, Hey, honey, the 80s are over. Like, Yeah, I’ve heard. So after years of building up a corporate clientele anyway, I thought about what I spoke to my clients about and I always asked like, what part of your job sucks, you know, sort of like, What’s your least favorite part of your job? And all of them kept saying to me finding a venue for an event because there was no way to advertise. I was like, Huh, that’s interesting. And when I called you know, the venue’s they were like, bring us a party, we’ll upgrade their bar, we’ll give him an extra hour. And I thought, wait a minute. My industry is going about this completely wrong. So I left and I flipped the business model and started Save the Date where we were free to the person planning the party, and that’s supported by our venues, which is very commonplace now. But this never existed. So it was total transparency. Every contract came directly from the venue’s still do so there was no plus something added on how it you know, that’s kind of how it started. And then after, you know, four weeks, all these venues, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I was like bringing a $60,000 car they’d be like, here’s 500 bucks kid. No, I was like, a young woman. I was 22 when I was starting to think about all this. And I started with a bunch of venues, and then I got calls every single day, how do we get on your list? And as you pay, you know, and at the same time, I was going to the investment banks of the world that had a conference team, saying, Well, would you use me if I was free? You know, and people were like, free, they’re very suspect. And I said, Well, I’m not not for profit, I’m just free to you. I’m supported by the vendors, and the venues. And then all of a sudden, it was the DJs. And the florist. And so I had a growing marketplace of everything needed for events, and a huge clientele of law firms, nonprofits, people getting married, that didn’t necessarily have the money to hire somebody, but just needed certain components. So that’s how we started to save the day, which was really revolutionary back then, which I never thought about, you know, I saw an issue and a problem is, you know, and I thought I can do this better, having no idea what the ramifications would be and how it would change my life. So

Kara Goldin 6:13
while we’ll, we’ll come back to this, but when you found it, it you I guess there were really two parts to it. It sounds like you found the initial company. And then it sounds like you flipped it into this, what it kind of is today. But

Jennifer Gilbert 6:28
I wonder another company? Oh, you weren’t? Okay. I work for a company where they people were paying us to plan their parties. And I kept calling all these corporations that were saying no, that’s my job. And so I went to my then boss at the time and said, You know, I kind of have this idea. And you know, what you think about doing it this way, and maybe having a different division or making me a partner. And you know, as as he said to me back then I’ll give you two weeks for vacation. I was like, I’m outtie. And so I literally left, I didn’t even know what I was calling my company. And I was, you know, this is way back in like the beginning cell phones where I had my cell phone, my dad’s cell phone, my sister cell phone all making my business calls. I didn’t even have the name of a company, but I’m calling all these clients and all these venues. And I’m writing it by hand almost, you know, not really, but an Excel spreadsheet. And it just started to grow and grow and grow. And then I had to hire somebody else and then hire somebody else. And by the time I was, you know, I started my company at 25. By the time I was 28, I won the Ernst and Young Award for young, entrepreneurial,

Kara Goldin 7:40
wild. I mean, that’s so. So this came after a very significant personal trauma. That is not one that you have shared with the world, although you did write a book about it. And incredible memoir that is, shortly after I met you. You suggested that I read it. And I remember sitting on a United flight just going oh my gosh, like I mean, this is absolutely wild on so many levels. So do you want to share a little bit about that event?

Jennifer Gilbert 8:19
Sure. You know, I’m a business woman. And that’s how my mind thinks Am I you know, I’ve been a constant entrepreneur, as we’ve discussed, like, when you’re an entrepreneur, you start selling things when you’re like five, you know, I would have gone right into Wall Street right into business of some sort. But I was living in London for the year after I graduated college. And I had just come back from London, and I went into New York City to visit my best friend from college. And I was staying with my parents. So I took the training and then I took the subway. And unbeknownst to me, it was you know, five o’clock in May beautiful sunshine, beautiful day, I was followed off the subway blocks. I mean, it’s it’s a good 10 blocks. And then I was followed into an apartment building down a hallway, and then further into my friend’s apartment, when she opened the door and I was stabbed 37 times with a screwdriver and really left for dead. And it was a random act of violence. And it was insane back then, because, you know, it was before the internet. So it was all over the news. It was all over the papers, people were handing out composite pictures of what I put together. You know, I was very lucky to be alive.

Kara Goldin 9:49
Just absolutely crazy on so many levels. And you talk about this in in the book,

Jennifer Gilbert 9:56
and so real big detail, but so

Kara Goldin 9:59
But ultimately, they caught the person. They caught

Jennifer Gilbert 10:03
him a few weeks later. But he was a Perl murderer. So he went right back to jail. And in my mind, I remembered three years. So he was going back to jail for three years, no matter what. And, you know, this was a, it turned out, this was a big case, this was a DA making case, and but I kind of put it out of my consciousness for three years, until that came up later. But um, you know, after that happened to me, I kind of I always say, it’s the day I lost my joy. Because I was, you know, 22 years old, and I thought, I’m never going to be happy again, I’m just not going to experience joy and happiness like everyone else. And, you know, this terrible thing had happened to me. And you know, now what kind of thing and because I’m not the type of person that can stay down and stay sad. In my mind, I just literally one day woke up and turned it off. I was like, enough,

Kara Goldin 11:18
enough, you’d left New York for a bit,

Jennifer Gilbert 11:22
I ran away from home, basically, I just, I packed up my car. Because all of you know, my family, my friends, everybody that knew this very small little circle of people that knew. I just couldn’t bear having them look at me like a victim. And I couldn’t bear feeling like one and I just sort of packed up my car, I went to Boston, I’ve no idea why I don’t even remember the name of the street that I lived on. But I just needed to get away. And I kind of was there for a few months. And I don’t even remember what I did. I know I worked somewhere. But I can’t. It’s all like a big blur. And then one day, I’m laying in this bed in this building, in a town in a city and the streets that I don’t remember. And I said, Enough, literally, I was like, What am I doing here? What am I doing? This is not my fabulous life. And if this man makes me deviate from my plan, one centimeter, he may as well have killed me. So get up Jen, and go home and rebuild your life. And that was it. I literally put everything emotional almost into a bag and left it in that house drove home and it was a whole new gen. I just, you know, said enough. I

Kara Goldin 12:40
think it’s so interesting. I heard you on another interview from a long time ago. Talk about that. And I feel like, you know, you didn’t necessarily have other people telling you, you know, Jen, stop it. Like, I mean, that’s a problem with a lot of people with trauma, where they’re gonna have a million people around them saying, you have to move on with your life, you had to take responsibility and decide that this was what you were ultimately going to do. Absolutely. Yeah. And so you end up leaving Boston, you come back to New York, moved

Jennifer Gilbert 13:15
back to New York, and I just thought, well, since I’m never going to be happy and have joy again, I just thought that was my new life. I thought about well, what can I do to be around people that are happy and celebrating, because I just learned we’ve won life. And we don’t know anything. And we can’t control anything. But today, and as long as my today is mine, I may as well recreate joy. And that’s why I went into event planning. It was not this call, although probably was from my, my events in high school that I charged people for but you know, it was not my calling in life. I didn’t know what I was going to do. But after this happened, I thought, Okay, I’m going to plan events. And then I went into an event planning company that I worked for, and then I realized there’s a way better way of doing this. And so, you know, I laughed, and then I flipped the business model and started safety. So

Kara Goldin 14:25
how do you think focusing on event planning and celebrations aided you in kind of the healing process? Because it’s not like you snap your fingers and you say, Okay, I’m all better now. Right? You’re, I mean, this is a process but you I feel like through your work of helping other people get happy. You were able to heal as well. Can you sort of unpack that a bit?

Jennifer Gilbert 14:53
Totally. Yes. I feel like it was like osmosis, you know, like I was round Oh, All of it for so long. And I experienced so much of life’s happy points. You know, people were, I mean, first people trust you with their most important days, right? So a wedding like that is hopefully the one wedding they think they’re having. And even CEOs, you know how many times they’re going to launch their first magazine? How many times are they going to have a new brand or product, it is excitement, it’s people, it’s details. And I think by saying, I’ve got you, I’m just fine, it’s going to be great. Because also, after what happened to me, I have a completely different relationship with fear. So I’m not afraid to go for whatever I want, I wasn’t afraid to make a cold call and pick up a client and I certainly wasn’t afraid of, you know, back then, all these director of caterings putting their finger in my face saying like, listen here, you little girl, because when I wanted to get what I wanted, but I think through all of it, and standing and watching the celebrations, and the dancing, and the communicating and the happiness, it just slowly brought back my own, you know, like warmed me up inside. And, and I still, I still love it. So

Kara Goldin 16:17
I’ve heard you talk about having a warrior mentality. And I loved that I loved that, too, you know, especially

Jennifer Gilbert 16:26
today that says warrior, normally word every day, so

Kara Goldin 16:30
to overcoming challenges. But how do you get that mindset? If if somebody’s sitting here listening to this and thinking, I wish I had this, this mindset, but how do you get it? I mean, is it it seems like there’s a conscious shift? And do you think you after going through something so traumatic, so horrible, and that you just decide? Like, I’ve been through a lot, and now I think

Jennifer Gilbert 17:02
there’s two components? I do think there is like, an at birth story. I mean, some of us just kind of have that in us. Even when your mom, you know, you can see with your kids, who’s the one that’s gonna march up and get what they want first, you know, and the other ones that are a little bit shy, or I mean, I think there’s some personality, things that happen, but I definitely think we can decide, I think we have a choice of who to be. And it’s a paradigm shift. And, you know, talk about this a lot. Most people think they have fear, think that they can’t do something think it’ll never happen to me. Instead of really understanding that this kind of fear, oh, I can’t attitude is nothing more than us telling ourselves what our limitations are. And that if we stopped worrying about what the answer was, and we just decided, it didn’t matter, we were going to enjoy the ride of life. And as you say, Be undaunted, I mean, just have to go for what you want. And when people are telling you things. You know, after my town, people were telling me what I should do every day, you should go to therapy, you should talk to this person, you should this, you should. And in my mind, I just thought, all I have to do is breathe, because I almost didn’t have that chance. And so I just thought, what do I want? And you know, what can I be? And if you take all the doubts away, and just flip it and say yes, I can, yes, I can. Why not? Then you build upon that thought, because you start to get everything you want in life. So, you know, I have a big poster that my my office mate for me for a birthday. And it says, which is my quote of all times, you don’t ask you don’t get. And it’s really true in life. Ask?

Kara Goldin 19:09
Yeah, why not? What do you have to lose? So you wrote this memoir? You were already well on your way with save the day, but you wrote this memoir, and I bet you didn’t imagine how many people would actually be impacted by the story that you’ve shared. And like you said it was in the media, but actually putting it into a book format and actually hearing the story and then seeing that somebody is not sitting, you know, under a rock, they’re actually moving on with their life. They’ve built something really incredible and really successful. is a really powerful thing has, is there one story in particular where somebody’s come up to you or shared it. Had your book and it made me know that I could?

Jennifer Gilbert 20:02
Yes, I mean, it took me 20 years to write my memoir from when it happened. So it really took me a long time because I kept thinking, Who cares about me, like lots of people have lots of things in the world. And I felt almost ashamed and embarrassed that I was picked. It’s, it’s, I know, it sounds insane. Like, I’m walking down the street, it’s any of us on any day. And I kind of kept it hidden. But when I started to actually write the book, and then of course, it was everywhere, which was totally shocking. I did a lot of public speaking. And there was one group that I spoke to, and there was about 3000 people in the room. And there was one woman I sort of thought, saw in the, in the front, and I walked on stage, and I’m wearing my very simple dress, and I’m alone on the stage, and I see her face. And it wasn’t an eye roll. But it was a little like, Oh, am I gonna learn from this woman? You know? And I was like, hmm, maybe something. And it was just funny, because at the end, when I was signing books, and talking to people there, she was online. And she said to me, you know, when you first walked on, I was like, What is this woman going to tell me that? I don’t know. And she said, I’m blown away and shocked. And I have a story. And it’s not everyone wants to compare, she said, You know, it’s not as bad as yours. And I said, there’s there’s no competition on pain. And she said, and she told me what had happened to her. And she was held up at gunpoint, it was a different kind of situation, but trauma. And she never spoke about it. And she felt like, what I say all the time is that when we share and communicate our experiences and our pain, we are giving others permission to do the same. And I think opening up about being vulnerable, which is still hard for me to do sometimes, and talking about the pain, and talking about how I outwardly have this perfect planning company, and I was taking care of everyone’s details. But inside I was disaster, you know, I had never really dealt with what happened to me. So you know, I’ve kind of put this on a book, thinking, I don’t know what’s gonna happen. And you know, then I’m on the Today Show, and I’m all over the country talking about it. And people really can relate to pain. Because we all have a story, every one of us. And it doesn’t have to be as big or as not, it’s all relative to what we’ve discovered in our life about ourself. And so it kind of opens up the dialogue for people to just share. And I think that’s really important. So

Kara Goldin 23:02
when you think about your business practices, and sort of being in touch with this, this personal experience that you’ve gone through, and how that shaped the way that you conduct business, particularly and how you cater to any of your clients, desires to celebrate these key moments, why do you think that that makes you a better business operator? That I feel like you’re, you’re sharing with these people, they come to you. And like you said, many people might think that, you know, you’re just doing events, right. But it’s more than that. It’s somebody who, yeah, it’s very emotional. And whether it’s a wedding, or whether it’s a launch of a product or launch of a company, or whatever it is, it’s a big deal. And I think having somebody who, you know, really wants to celebrate these moments and really gets it, I think is a powerful thing. But how do you think that that’s been able to really help other others?

Jennifer Gilbert 24:14
I think a few things. One is just to know to celebrate today’s experience, so every event to me is an experience that is happening in this room for everyone. So while you know, you may be my clients, or hint, maybe my client back then to me, it is the experience and the event is my client. So you’re there and you’re plugged in and you know, it’s like there’s it’s energy, it’s all energy in the room, and you have to kind of let it breathe when it when it needs to, you know, move away or bring it closer if the timing is off. So it’s kind of a living, breathing The situation that we’re in, and I think, knowing what that experience is, like, firsthand, just about, you know, wanting life to be happy and experiencing joy, and then being on site, I can feel it in a weird way. It’s kind of strange. But the other thing is that there’s a lot of compassion that goes into, you know, treating other people well. And sometimes events bring out stress in people, you know, it’s like, even if they’re planning their company’s holiday party, and I’m just finding the venue for it. They’re responsible for their company’s holiday party. So it’s their job. And so they get nervous and stress. And I think really being able to see somebody and say, I’ve got you, it’s gonna be great, because I do. And because I am not afraid of a hard battle. I’m not afraid of asking for what my client wants and producing it for them. I just think there’s a different kind of stability and safety that comes with me and my company for 30 years. But I just think that like, yes, you can. I mean, I said that when I was fighting for my life, I said that when everyone said I couldn’t start my own business at 25, I said that when you know, venue’s for, like, we don’t need you. I was like, Yes, you do. And of course, you know, who called a year later to say, Okay, we need you. I mean, I think it’s just saying, Yes, I can to everything. And it starts with knowing and believing in yourself that you actually can.

Kara Goldin 26:41
Yeah, definitely. So events has definitely, it’s, it’s, they’re coming back, but obviously, during COVID There was a fun, so fun, such a big challenge. Right. And, and I think, you know, I watched personally, you weather your way through that storm, you’ve seen, since you’ve been in the business now for over 30 years, you’ve seen the recession of you know, 2007 2008, you know, continuing into 2009 A bit like, you’ve seen a lot of different things happen. And one of the things that I think about a lot, as, you know, not just a business person, but also as an entrepreneur, is that and, and a founder, as well, you’ve got to figure out what’s in front of you. Right? And you deal. And you have done that. But what can you talk about where we’re at today, in terms of, of events? And how is that? It? How has that, you know, obviously gotten better? You’re doing more and more events, you’ve booked, you know, over $32 million in business this year, which is incredible. But like, where are we at with the vets right now.

Jennifer Gilbert 28:03
So I mean, my business generally, people would say is reliance on, you know, the better times and the better economies. And what I did since I started in a recession, is I’m recession proof. Because my founding business model was We are a free service. When companies downsize their departments to have two people for conference planning, when they used to have 10, amazing outsource, then what sort of started to happen is, you know, I don’t believe if you build it, they will come. I don’t, I believe in Ask, ask a lot of people what they need, and then build what they say, or talk to people before you start something and get their advice. So what happened is, after I started with the free service, half my clients were like, well, we don’t want you to just find us everything. We want you to be there because nobody runs events like you do. And nobody knows our company culture like you do. And I said, Well, wait, that’s not my business model. Like I have 35 events, you know, any night in December for Christmas parties. And I said, I’d have to charge you. And they said, charge us. Yeah. Well, then I opened up my consulting side. So I was like, okay, because the economy went back up. You know, it all ebbs and flows. And I think you’re right, like, Who in the world predicted COVID A and B, who predicted it was going to be two full years, because I’m negotiating contracts from the spring to the fall, and then I’m renegotiating them again for the next year. I mean, it taught me so much after you think you know so much. And you know, really, we stopped we I think we did the first virtual event in the country because there was no nothing even called the virtual event. I had a nonprofit, and they depended on their game. Ella for all of their money for the year, and they said to me, now, what are we going to do? And literally, I was like, Ah, let me get back to. And so I said, we’re going to do a movie. And that’s what I thought of it in my head. So we started virtual events. So sometimes you have no idea what’s coming, you just have to literally stop for a minute. And know, I will figure this out. What do I want to happen? What do I need to see what is the result of what’s going on? And so now, I find it, it’s really interesting, where it’s going for my company. So we have the free service, then we have the consulting for clients, which became bigger, because a lot of people, especially with COVID, and afterwards, they decided not to hire a lot of people back in the event fundraising. So we’re an outsource. So instead of having $100,000, you know, employee, they’ll come to us for their two parties a year, and it’s way less expensive. So we become a, can you plan this one party for us? Can you plan our two gallons every year? Can you you know, do something for us. And so we become a great outsource TA, a lot of these people that just needed one or two events a year. And now what I’m finding, which is so interesting is that because I know the venue sides, so Well, I know what makes a good party, I know where to put the bar, I know how to keep the energy in the room by a floor plan. I mean, these are things to most people that they don’t even think about. But I have hotels coming to me and saying, We basically want like a Save the Date stamp of approval on our event space, will you come and help us roll it out? Sell? Sure. So you know, I look at their floor plans now like don’t put the bar there. Nobody wants the bar there. That’s a bottleneck, put it over there. And I help them set up their events system, their management and how to sell. So that’s been really new over the last two years that I’m really consulting with a lot of hospitality companies that are buying rep venues or trying new ways revenues. And we’re in there from the beginning, you know, setting up the event spaces with them. So it’s been really interesting.

Kara Goldin 32:22
So your business has primarily been in the New York City area and Long Island.

Jennifer Gilbert 32:31
Five offices at one point. So it was it used to be yes. All in the New York City. And then when I started to grow and grow and grow, and my clients said, Well, you know, you do our events in New York, we want you to be in San Francisco with the.com was the first time and I said well, I’m not going to build an office unless you guarantee me all of your business and they said, Okay, so then I built an office. So we were in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, LA, and Washington, DC. So we were there. And then, you know, as with the years coming in COVID, we had to shrink. So now we do events everywhere. But our real estate in our office is only in New York City now.

Kara Goldin 33:20
Got it? Do you think you’ll go beyond New York and really start

Jennifer Gilbert 33:27
Miami? Yeah, I’m already we’re doing a lot of events in Miami. A lot of New Yorkers have moved to Miami. That all worked with me. So I think that’s our next city. I mean, I would love to do la because my clients call me and say, you know, please come out here. We need somebody. So you know, but I would do it differently. And I would do it smarter. Before I owned all the offices myself. 100%. No finance, no, you know, rev share nothing. And I would do it differently this time.

Kara Goldin 34:00
Do you think events have changed? I guess there’s two sides of your business too. There’s the there’s the celebrations that are I guess they’re all celebrations but the celebrations that are more personal like the weddings and bar mitzvahs. And then there’s the business side of things where people are having a get together. On the business side of things. Do you think people have changed how they set up events? Do you think there’s this perception that they don’t want some big giant boondoggle of an event that they want to keep them smaller and more intimate? Or do you think that there’s, I could also see that offices because a lot of people are working remotely, that you want to bring a lot of people together that might not normally be in be invited to some of these events in the past? What do you see happening?

Jennifer Gilbert 34:59
I say yes to everything you just said. Because right out of COVID, everything was very small. It was still zoomable, there were still, you know, links for everything. And it was being meetings were being zoomed out. So they were still a smaller number, smaller expense. You know, they didn’t have to pay for everybody there. So it became a different kind of dynamic. But in the past, you know, year and a half, they’re back. I mean, people want to be together, people want to celebrate together. Very rarely is there any kind of zoom component anymore, which is shocking, because that’s all we talked about for years was you know how to livestream it. I think people crave togetherness in a different kind of way. And I believe if companies don’t start doing events with their employees, it doesn’t keep a really consistent culture. Because people working from home, it is not the same. And they’re not in a room with all of their, you know, sort of co workers and comrades and bosses and underlings to see face to face help people are. And I think it’s really important. And a lot of the companies that we do events for had started to do some of these, like, Happy Hour kinds of things, but then got back into it big summer party. So I think the need for companies to feel like they are providing an experience for their workers and their employees is definitely on the rise. Because people are saying, Okay, it’s time, come back to work now. And you know, after for like, it’s been four years, I’ve been work from this office, I don’t want to come into work. Yeah. So you know, they’re doing things at work they’re doing, every two weeks, we do a different kind of like, installation for food and decor and photo ops. And, you know, one day, it’s pizza chop, the next day will serve, you know, customize screen, but things that are keeping people together. So it’s been really interesting. You know, I mean, for what we see there back in there in person,

Kara Goldin 37:13
so interesting. So how have you grown personally, through your entrepreneurial journey? I mean, you’ve seen, so you made a conscious decision to just get up and not allow something to control your life, and you didn’t necessarily think you were gonna start an event company at the caliber that you have started. And it’s become a massive success. And but what key lessons have you learned just about starting a business life in general, whatever comes to mind, you know,

Jennifer Gilbert 37:57
it’s 30 years. So I feel like every decade I learn like a doozy, but every year there’s something you know, I think, definite wisdom comes with age, I think I can look back at situations and say, God, I really wish I had done that differently. Right, or I spoke to that person differently. I think in the very beginning, when I was 25, and everybody that worked for me was my age ish. I had no idea how to be a boss. You know, I had no idea how to relate to being with them, but not having friends. Like, you know, in the beginning, it was like, let’s all go out for drinks every day. And then the next day, I’d have to say, This is wrong. And it was very confusing for me. So I kind of thought it was better to pull back and be a little scarier than be best friends. And, you know, of course, scary is never good. You know, but I always I was always unbelievably loyal. I still am to everybody that I work with. You know, I bend over backwards for my employees and my vendors. But I think that sometimes I’ve had to learn, like, it’s time to try something new. I think people and you know, things get stale. And if I’m in I’m in a business where you have to be imaginative and creative. And people want to know, what do we do next? Now what’s great. And so, you know, sometimes I need to go to my chefs, my vendors, my caterers, and if they’re not sort of imagining at the same pace that we are, you know, you have to try new people. And I think I was I felt very guilty about that in the beginning. And now it’s great. I mean, I want to hear what’s new. I want to hear what’s going on with everybody. Net. My job is to find every new venue and every new cater. I think personally for me, learning how to let things go was huge. You know, even though the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that we are in control of nothing, really, except ourselves, our attitude and what we do when things happen. I went into the control business. I mean, we’re event planners, we want to control the weather, you know, so we can, we can make a million timelines. But inevitably, all rain on your brain, you know, something’s gonna not show up, and you have to be prepared. I mean, I had a shirt that said, Chief Damage Control Officer, I used to get really high strung about it and really stressed out and now I’m like, It’s a party. We’re all good. No one’s dying. We’re okay, we’ll figure it out. And I have a much different attitude, about, you know, conflict management, let’s say. And that’s taken, it’s taken a while. But you know, sometimes you just have to think, is this worth it? Is this is this like fighting worth it? You know, I fire clients now. Like, they get on the phone. And they’re really mean to me, and one of my employees. Were in the fund business. I don’t need to be in the screamed at business. And they say, you know, all the time, will you work for me? I’m like, I don’t think so. It’s my name on the door. You’re hiring my company, and we’re providing a service, but I don’t work for you. Yeah, so we need to be respectful to each other. And you know, these things took time to be able to understand.

Kara Goldin 41:29
Well, Jennifer Gilbert, founder and chief vision Officer of save the day, thank you so much for sharing your amazing, amazing story journey all about Save the Date and all of your wisdom overall and strength to so everything about you is just incredible. And I never promised you a goodie bag. We’ll have all the info in the show notes about that too. But just an incredible memoir to read more about the story. But again, Save the Date is super, super terrific. And obviously Jen is is really great. So definitely follow her on all social channels too. So she’s doing a lot of amazing stuff. So thank you again, Jen.

Jennifer Gilbert 42:16
Thank you, honey. Thank you so much, everyone. Bye.

Kara Goldin 42:19
Thanks again for listening to the Kara Goldin show. If you would, please give us a review. And feel free to share this podcast with others who would benefit and of course, feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode of our podcast. Just a reminder that I can be found on all platforms at Kara Goldin. I would love to hear from you too, so feel free to DM me. And if you want to hear more about my journey, I hope you will have a listen or pick up a copy of my Wall Street Journal, best selling book undaunted, where I share more about my journey including founding and building hint. We are here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Thanks for listening and good bye for now.