Kanika Chadda Gupta: Host of That’s Total Mom Sense

Episode 582

On this episode of The Kara Goldin Show, we’re joined by the very inspiring Kanika Chadda Gupta, host of the podcast That’s Total Mom Sense and a former CNN television journalist. Kanika shares how she turned her passion for storytelling and parenting into a platform that celebrates life lessons, parenting journeys, and legacies. With interviews featuring public figures like Chelsea Clinton, Kelly Rowland, and America Ferrera, Kanika has created a space that honors the lasting impact of living your purpose and modeling that for the next generation. In this episode, Kanika delves into her journey from journalism to podcasting, how her cultural roots shape her approach to parenting, and the valuable lessons she’s learned from her guests. Join us for a conversation filled with actionable advice for anyone interested in parenting, storytelling, or entrepreneurship. Tune in for an inspiring discussion! Now on The Kara Goldin Show.

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Transcript

Kara Goldin 0:00
I am unwilling to give up that I will start over from scratch as many times as it takes to get where I want to be. I want to be you. Just want to make sure you will get knocked down. But just make sure you don’t get knocked out, knocked out. So your only choice should be go focus on what you can control. Control. Hi everyone, and welcome to the Kara Goldin show. Join me each week for inspiring conversations with some of the world’s greatest leaders. We’ll talk with founders, entrepreneurs, CEOs and really, some of the most interesting people of our time. Can’t wait to get started. Let’s go. Let’s go. Welcome back to the Kara Goldin show. I’m super, super excited to have my next guest here. I’ve been fangirling over her for some time, and I’m so thrilled to have her here. We have Kanika Chadda Gupta, who is a seasoned former CNN television journalist turned podcaster and the brilliant mind behind the widely popular podcast called that’s total mom sets and since launching her podcast, Kanika has used her platform to interview many public figures. We’ll get into some of the many, but people like Chelsea Clinton, Kelly Rowlands and America, Ferrera and just a ton of incredible people who basically, she’s using this platform to interview public figures about their life lessons, parenting journeys and overall legacies. So it’s a definite must. But more than anything, she’s just an incredible, wonderful human, and like I said, has had a great journey, but it has also really impacted the podcast space by having a place where she can allow people to really learn quite a bit about not just leadership and parenting and lots of inspiration, but so much more. So super excited that you’re here. Kanika, welcome.

Kanika Chadda Gupta 2:11
Thank you so much. Kara, what an intro. Thanks a lot. It’s a joy to be here with you today. Well,

Kara Goldin 2:18
I’m super excited. And as I said, I love your podcast, and it’s super, super inspiring, and you’ve had some really, really great guests, and I feel like a lot of your conversations are filled with so much actionable advice, things that have really, you know, got me thinking, and obviously you’re focusing on parenting, but also what lessons that you’re what lessons are people learning and taking from just being a parent, and so much great storytelling as well, and all of the good stuff that I that I love, just in life in general. So but before we get into more about your podcast, I’d love for you to share a little bit about you. And kind of, your your journey from a journalist to podcaster, and kind of, can you share a little bit more about your history? Oh,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 3:16
my goodness, I would love to. And I’d love to just set the stage from the beginning, from my childhood. I was born in India, and my parents immigrated to the US when I was two years old, and something that was just a mainstay in our house was we always had the TV on, but particularly news and talk shows. So, you know, I grew up watching Peter Jennings and Connie Chung and Diane Sawyer, and even at night, Arsenio. And, of course, the Queen Mother, as I say, Oprah. I remember when I was just like 10 years old, I would run from the bus home finish my homework as fast as I could, and I would cozy up on the couch in my mom’s bedroom. It was a small, little sofa, and it was with me, my mom, my grandmother, my sister and my aunt. And like ritual, we would watch Oprah at four o’clock. And I just thought, wow, I would love to do this for a living, to meet such interesting people, and it didn’t matter if she had like an ex con or a movie star, you know, in that seat there, and she would be able to allow them to get vulnerable and raw and honest with their story, and that just really touched me. And I thought, wow, I have to pursue journalism and go down this path. So then I did. I did. I studied international relations at BU and then went and did my math. In broadcast journalism at University of Miami, and I had this opportunity to move abroad to work in India. And I thought, wow, I should take it. It was with CNN, and I am a native Hindi speaker. But even aside that, I mean, it was an English medium channel and show, and so the broadcast was in English, and I hosted a show called eat tonight, and that was a lifestyle show. So we covered, you know, Bollywood and Hollywood and all the fun stuff, just like Entertainment Tonight. And then we had human interest stories as well, like when the 2611 terror attacks happened. I interviewed survivors. So I feel like there were so many gut wrenching events that put India on the map. You know, a great one was Slumdog Millionaire’s Oscar win. I feel like that got global acclaim. And so there was just so many different stories that I got a chance to cover, that just, you know, covered the gamut. And then I moved back to the States after a few years there, continued working as an executive producer and and then when I had kids, it all changed. I was like, I’m gonna totally pivot and start a podcast

Kara Goldin 6:21
that’s that’s so wild. Well, obviously, I, you know, it’s so it’s interesting. I don’t know if you and I talked about this before, but one of my four kids graduated from college a couple years ago and majored in storytelling, and she she went to Brown where you could create your own major. And so her major was actually creative storytelling, because she felt like, if you could actually tell incredible stories, you could actually have incredible impact on people, right? You figure out ways to, like, touch them. And you know, some people might view that as storytelling as like a blow off major and but it certainly like wasn’t for her, there’s a lot behind actually being able to tell a great story, but I think that the best journalists actually know how to do that as well, Right? They’re not just covering a story they’re actually creating and forming. What do I want to get out of this? What will be important? What do people need to know about? And I think anyone who’s watched you has seen that characteristic and that skill that you have. So what made you think I’m gonna now take this into podcasting. Was there a podcast out there that you were just like, oh my gosh, that’s what I’m gonna do next. Or where did the idea come from?

Kanika Chadda Gupta 7:48
Yes, yes, it there definitely was one Mom Brain with Daphne Oz and Hilaria Baldwin. I listened to them all the time, and, you know, it came full circle, because I’ve had Daphne on the show, and I told her that, you know, I still remember waking up at 3am to either nurse or pump, and I had their voices in my earbuds, and that’s what kept me awake. And I loved, you know, instantly podcasting as a medium, especially for busy parents, because we want to passively listen. We’re doing so many things at once, and this just allows us to get a download of interesting information while going about our busy lives. I wanted to enter this space because I felt like it was bereft of a show. I have these three pillars that’s illuminating, inclusive and inspiring. And I wanted, and I guess I can add another eye immigrant stories. I thought I could infuse my own personal experience and background into this, because, you know, I feel like everyone should have a voice. And I thought, this is this is something that I could really leave an impact, you know. And coming from journalism, I love how you really give that credit where it’s due the media. When you look at it as an operation, it’s agenda setting in its own right, and now it’s even more blatant. We know which channels are more right and more left, you know? And it should not be that way. What I learned in J school from my professor, and he was just such an incredible teacher. He was the executive producer for Walter Cronkite at CBS for 30 years. So Professor, Sam Roberts, if you’re listening, I have to give you, you know, these accolades, because I learned so much from him. And he said, You have to make sure. Sure that your reporting and storytelling is objective. Show two sides of the story and make sure you know so many different moving parts are explained. And I knew I wanted to do that too. And I think what really kind of piqued my interest about parenting is that it is the ultimate equalizer. When you’re a parent, you automatically feel a sense of empathy and understanding when you meet someone else who’s a parent and you’re just like, Oh, I see you. We’re right here. I get you. And I think the best way we could pay it forward is by sharing our advice and having an exchange on like, you know, this is what I learned from my grandmother, and this is what I’m doing with my kids. And, you know, we can just have this like dialog, so that we all are learning together. Because I do believe that there is no one surefire way to rear kids. There’s so many books and podcasts and childhood development experts out there, and I think it’s important to glean from all of them, but at the end of the day, you’re gonna do you and raise your kids the best that you know how.

Kara Goldin 11:20
So you’re deeply rooted in your culture. You know? It’s interesting, because I’ve talked to so many people over the years who you know, I’ve been transplants from another country, and I don’t think it’s until you I think there’s two things that kind of take you back to your your heritage, one is age, right? As you get older, you start to there’s an identity, right, that you’re that you recognize has always been with you. It doesn’t matter if you were transplanted into another country, but there’s still something there. And also parenting. And I think that there’s, and, you know, I don’t think you need both of them either. There’s. I’ve met plenty of people who don’t have kids and feel this way about but I do think that you want your anyone. I always tell my kids, anyone who will listen, right? Like they’re a captive audience when they’re in my house now, so you know, they’re like, uh, you know, and I’m like, anybody will listen. And typically, kids, or your family, you know, anyone who’s living in your home will start to listen to that. But what have you learned about that and in terms of your own culture that you think has just maybe really started to become more important, more apparent, and not to say that it wasn’t important to you, but do you feel like that’s something that has surfaced over the years, Maybe when you did become a parent, that became more and more important. Yes,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 13:05
it did. I often think back to my mom, who really was a driving force in teaching my sister and I about our Indian culture and heritage. I think of her in her 40s, because that’s where I am in my season of life right now, and it’s, it’s a little difficult to think about. She is battling Alzheimer’s now, and, you know, just being able to wrap my head around how you know she’s has this degenerative disease and eventually won’t recognize me, my sister, our family. I want to take everything that she imparted to us and make sure that I’m doing my bit to pass it on to the kids, because it’s what she would have done, and she was just very much a fixture in our community. So I grew up in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and she wanted to make sure that, you know, I learned the language, how to read and write and be able to partake in the cultural activities and festivals. And so she very resourcefully found out about a school called the India school and enrolled me at age five, and so I was studying Hindustani vocal music and classical dance. It’s called Kuchipudi, very rigorous form of dance where you learn to dance on a brass plate after you’ve done it for years, ornate, you know, jewelry and costume and everything. And then I also learned Hindi, and I took a correspondence course with the embassy where we were writing business letters and essays in Hindi. And this is all in addition to my schoolwork. And you know, I’m taking honors classes and AP classes and doing this on the side, but my um. Mom just knew that, like, you know, when you have this connection to our Motherland, to our roots and where we come from, you won’t have this identity crisis of who am I like as much you you’ll just feel like you’re a part of something. And you know, it’s almost like when you connect the dots, going back we didn’t know that I was going to end up being stationed in India and working for CNN and needing to rely on, you know, my skills, day in and day out, and it helped me tremendously. And I loved the experience of being there. So, yeah, it’s all thanks to my mom. And so I try and teach my kids. I tell them the stories. There’s all these mythological stories from the Ramayan and Mahabharata that they love, and there’s cartoons and plush dolls. And so I make it fun. And my daughter is learning the dance form that I learned when I was a kid, and she asked to Yeah. She said, I want to do what you and my sister. She calls her Mossy. That means Aunt, I want to learn the dance that you and Mossy learned. I was like, Okay, I will find a teacher in New Jersey. And so it’s lovely how it comes full circle like that. That’s so

Kara Goldin 16:19
great. And I feel like even, I don’t know if it even over the last, like 40 years, I feel like there’s more and more opportunities like that to kind of get back in touch, right? That it used to be like, okay, you’ve moved to the US. You’re you know, you need to conform. And now I feel like these communities are becoming bigger and bigger, and there’s like, which I think is just amazing. I mean, not just with dance and different opportunities, but also with food and and just like, it’s, it’s really a beautiful thing, and I think it’s really been embraced and so many communities in a much bigger way than when I was a little kid, it was so I think it’s, it’s such a beautiful part of of the US. There’s a lot of things in the US are not so good, but it’s, but that is a beautiful part, for sure. So how do you when you think about some of the guests on on your podcast that you’ve you’ve had some amazing ones that are just really incredible. You know, America, Ferrera, Chelsea Clinton, you know, so many. Was there one that really kind of, I’m sure there were multiple ones. I always think back on my podcast, like, who was really the one? But was there one that is kind of your go to, that they said something that just really kind of, you know, you had you thinking that you were like, What do I think about that? Or is that, you know, how? How can I dig into that a little bit more and really understand if that’s really me, or what can I learn that situation? Yes,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 18:11
yeah, no, it’s so hard to choose. There are so many really, like, pivotal moments and soulful conversations I’ve had with these people, one, if I were to pinpoint that just I had, like, a moment where, you know, like, mouth open, like, Oh, wow. Like, that’s a totally different way to think about it. This was with Robin ward. She’s the CEO of a company called founder forward, and she’s an angel investor, and she’s in that world of media. And she said, I’ll give you a little context of her story too. So she decided to become a single mom in her late 40s and 50s. And she said, You know what, raising a child? And you know at this time, her son, Ryder, was a toddler, she said, it’s leadership. Parenting is leadership, and you have to inspire your employees, and in the same vein, your kids, to want to be great citizens in this world. And as much as you know, we all do this, me included. I mean, you know, you want to just boss them around, like, I need you to put your shoes on. I need we’re going, you know, to school now and listen to my XYZ all the time. If you had a boss like that, you would totally tune them out and zone out and say, like, I got to listen to them again. And so make sure you have their buy in and their input in how you’re doing things in the home. And so this can be really easy, like with younger kids, you give them choices, you know, because you don’t want them to wear a t shirt when it’s cold outside. So it’s like, do. You want this blue t shirt or this red t shirt, and then have them choose, teach them executive functioning. This was something that you know, just piggybacking off of what I learned from Robin. But I spoke to my kids math teacher, and she said something around this point. She said, I don’t mind if they are getting their homework wrong or skipping, or any of that. The idea for an elementary school kid, what the main thing that they need to learn is they get their assignment from school, from their teacher, worksheet, you know, page number and book, whatever it is, they put it in their backpack, they take it home. They do it themselves, so you’re not really policing and helping just she said, let them leave questions blank. I want to see what they can actually do on their own. Put it back in their backpack and bring it to class the next day. That loop is what we’re teaching. And I was like, wow, that’s That’s amazing. It’s not. How much do they know? Do they get this right or wrong? And we want to teach our kids? I’ve narrowed it down to three things, agency, autonomy and advocacy, so the agency to to know the executive function of things, autonomy, doing it by themselves. And advocacy, where they’re standing up for themselves on their own, we’re not actually, you know, doing their work for them. I want them to be able to if they notice something that they don’t agree with, they’re not scared to challenge like, I want them to know how to do these things in the world. So, yeah, that was just really, really amazing advice that I had that was sparked by that podcast.

Kara Goldin 21:59
Yeah, no, I think that’s, that’s, that’s really interesting, well, and I would also say, I think as your kids get older, that the payoff comes later, right? Because you start to see, I remember when I was, when I was, you know, my kids were young and just starting out, and I definitely had those guilty moments where I’m like, I’m working like crazy. I’m talking about work around the dinner table and doing all these things that everyone told me you’re not supposed to be doing. You’re supposed to separate, you know, things out. But later on, when I would go to, like, parent teacher conferences, and, you know, we’d be talking like, I remember going to one of my sons speaking to one of his teachers about a Economics and Business course. He was like, he really gets it, like he really understands it. And he was explaining about, you know, when you start a business, and he was putting it into a story and trying to, you know, give an example, he’s always the person that says, no, no, the way to understand it is blah, blah, blah, and putting it in and which is just sounded just like, because I’m always like, if you don’t understand something, put it into something that makes it easier for you to comprehend. And so I’ve always and so again, I think that you don’t see that initially, but later on, you start to see that in you know how they act and and I think that that’s where the payoff really starts. So not only make sure that they’re good citizens, but do as you want them to be, I guess is that is the net, net of it. So, so what’s one piece of advice? You think that really is kind of a common thread that comes across in so many of these interviews. And maybe it’s your own, you know, lessons that you’ve learned as a business executive too, but that you just really feel like is kind of a life takeaway for anybody. Yes,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 24:18
there were so many, I’ll touch on a few of the other, you know, interviews I had. And then there’s a life lesson that I kind of figured out on my own with my interview with Chelsea Clinton. You know, we spoke about how she was an only child living in a fishbowl. We all knew her whereabouts, and I always felt like we live these parallel lives, because we’re around the same age, and I grew up just outside DC, and I just adored her. So to have that attraction, yeah, it’s great. And she kind of took herself out of her own life story. And she wrote this children’s book called Welcome to the big kids club because she’s a mother of three, and she wanted to prepare her first and her second for the sibling on the way. And she was like, this is something I’ve never experienced, you know, but just because it’s not my life story doesn’t mean I can’t empathize with my kids and what they’re feeling, you know, whether it’s like jealous or, you know, worried that they’re not going to get as much attention from parents or whatever. So she kind of calms their their fears that way, and it’s a great resource for parents to use when they’re expecting more kids. So I love that. My interview with Kelly Rowland was interesting too. We got a chance to talk about the black maternal health crisis, and this was in partnership with March of Dimes and how they’re disproport disproportionately affected because there are maternity care deserts, and you know, they there are more the death rate is much higher. And so we spoke about that and how we can understand the cause, and you know, we brought awareness to it. But also she spoke about her experience being in a Limelight from, you know, her teenage years with Destiny’s Child, and when she had to reconcile some family issues of her own. So she was raised by a headstrong, incredible single mother named Doris, and her dad was out of the picture, and she would even turn him away so have security turn him away when she was on tour doing her concerts, because she just didn’t want to have anything to do with him. After her mom passed away, and she had two sons at this point, she reached out to her dad, and they had a heart to heart, and they reconciled, and she thought, I’m so glad I let go of my ego, and, you know, reached out to him, because even though my kids lost one grandparent, they gained another one who’s very actively involved in their lives now. And there’s always, it’s like the journalism thing, there’s always two sides to the story, so you want to make sure that you’re doing all your data gathering and and have empathy. And so she’s so happy that she has her dad in her life again, and a tip that I can impart with your audience that I learned over time actually was watching an Instagram reel in the middle of night, because we all are guilty of doom scrolling sometimes, but this was about how to just establish a unique bond with your kids. And you know, something in my immigrant household that I would say was lacking was communication. We didn’t really talk about the hard things. There was so much stigma and taboo around it. I mean, even, like when I got my period for the first time, whatever it was, it was like we just never really talked about it, and I had to figure things out on my own, and I just didn’t want to just rinse, repeat and have my kids go through that. So this reel was with someone sharing how she was hosting an AA meeting, and this young girl brings her mom to the AA meeting. And so the organizer went up to the mom later, and was like, I just can’t believe that. You know, she trusts you that much and cares about you that much, that she brought you here like you guys must be so tight, you know, how’d you do it? How’d you establish this bond with your child? And she said, I had a diary that I wrote in, and we would write messages back and forth, and I would write an entry and slip it under her pillow, and she would do the same. And there were times where we never even discussed it, like in words, in person. And so I brought these, journals. These are three journals. This is to my son, daughter and my other son. So I have entries that can show you a little you can’t really see, but my my daughter and I write pictures in ours. So this was one of her entries to me. I love it flowers. And then, you know, I drew my own stick figures, but we write these diary entries back and forth. And right now, it’s just really fun menial stuff, because I have boy, girl twins who are seven and a younger son who’s six. But I. Hope to God that when she’s 1617, or when she’s 30, we still have some sort of exchange like this, where she can just spill out her thoughts, open her heart, and know that there’s no judgment. I

Kara Goldin 30:14
love that so much so one of when my mom passed away, one of the things that we found when was, when she was a little girl, different, but in many ways. And it was, it was her, it was her diary, and it was, and it was during, she was, I guess, 15, when it started. And it was basically between 15 and 18, and it was during World War Two. Oh, my goodness. And so there was a lot of what I mean they were relying on, you know, the radio and and kind of, you know, the stories that were coming through there, and what information that they were actually getting and and so anyway, it’s not only one of my favorite things to just pull out and sit there and read, but also my kids, yeah, we’re in their 20s now. They’ll just sit there and they’ll let go through it and and they know exactly where I leave it in my underwear drawer, and right? And so they’re like, they go in and they and they pull it out, and it’s just, like, the sweetest thing. And I don’t know what it is about history like that, and maybe it’s, like, comforting. I think when they really started reading it, it was when they were wrestling that age and just curious, you know, what if they could imagine? So it’s, it’s, you know, different. But I think there’s something about words and history and what people are going through, or what people are thinking is, is a very special thing. So, so what’s next for you? And that, that total mom sense, but I know you’ve got some other projects going on as well. Yes,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 32:06
yes. I wanted to just give a shout out to your daughter and how ahead of her time she is with the storytelling as her major because see how this the power of stories like it lets you transcend time and take a peek into grandma’s world. Amazing, amazing.

Kara Goldin 32:26
Yeah, she’s actually, I’ll give a shout out. She didn’t know that I was going to do this, but she is an associate producer on another podcast, very different from your podcast or my podcast, but it’s called betrayal, and it’s a crime Yes, and, and it’s one of the top crime podcasts out there. And so anyway, she, you will hear her on the podcast towards you know, she’s a named associate producer. I’m very proud of her, but it’s she’s she’s found her calling, and she’s digging into all of these very, I think, scary and gnarly crimes that are out there, but she loves it. So, yeah, it’s funny. When I tell people that she works for a podcast, the typical reaction is, oh, that’s cool. And then I say, it’s a crime podcast. They’re like, Whoa, it’s now become, I told her, like, it’s now, especially millennials, like, or Jen’s ears. I’m like, It’s crime pot. They’re like, Wow, that’s so, yeah, if you’ve got, like, the coolest job. So, you tell me, tell me what is next. Yes,

Kanika Chadda Gupta 33:45
a few different projects. I just hosted a podcast called year one with Carnegie learning. They are a curriculum for K through 12, mostly in math, and they really have the vision that we’re going to shine a light on the teacher shortage in this country and why so many educators are leaving the field because they’re understaffed and under resourced in schools. And they are chronicling one life. It’s Dr Jenna McNulty, and she shares her year one as a third grade teacher in the public school system. And so I’m hosting that show, so you’ll hear me narrate. And it was, it’s, it’s still ongoing. It’s really exciting project to be a part of. And you know, I feel like I’m part of a trifecta. It’s the parents and the teachers and the curriculum that they’re learning, and that’s, you know, what you need. And if one of those legs of the table falls off, you know, your your kid kind of bears the brunt of that. So, yeah, it’s great to be able to. To be part of that. And, you know, a lot of brands that I work with over time, name bubbles. We did a big campaign for back to school. They do name labels. And let’s see, Bright Horizons is a national, you know, daycare and elder care center. We are doing a whole deep dive and campaign around play called Play matters. And that will be on that subtle mom sense. And a child development expert, Claire ghost, is going to share just why kids need to play more so important. And I have a book in the works too, so I am going to be in constant touch with you because I loved undaunted. But it’s, yes, it’s, it’s so it’s a catharsis, but it’s also a means for paying it forward. When you write a book that’s in this kind of self help memoir like genre, so that’s where it lives.

Kara Goldin 36:11
So great. Well, Kanika, so amazing to have you here, and so grateful for everything that you’re doing, and everyone needs to definitely listen in on that’s total mom sense, because you’re doing a great job. And it’s, it’s just, it’s really enjoyable, but like I said, very inspiring and and it’s got me thinking definitely so really appreciate it, and thanks everyone so much for listening as well, until next time.

Kanika Chadda Gupta 36:44
Oh, thank you so much, Kara. I can’t wait to have you on the show.

Kara Goldin 36:49
Thanks again for listening to the Kara Goldin show. If you would please give us a review and feel free to share this podcast with others who would benefit. And of course, feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode of our podcast, just a reminder that I can be found on all platforms. At Kara Goldin, I would love to hear from you too. So feel free to DM me, and if you want to hear more about my journey, I hope you will have a listen or pick up a copy of my Wall Street Journal, best selling book, undaunted, where I share more about my journey, including founding and building. Hint, we are here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Thanks for listening, and goodbye for now. You.

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